Without a Goodbye: Your Mural
by TawakeNix
Summary: Mello… you didn't even say goodbye… You didn't even tell me if-- you wanted to love me back MelloxOC oneshot. R&R please!


Meehhh… Yes, I know another (crappy) oneshot from moi XD Yep, it's a MelloxOC pairing. I don't know why but there's not much around here. Well anyway!

Disclaimer: Death Note and all of its characters belong to Tsugumi Ohba.

--

**Without a Goodbye: Your Mural**

"Ahh… I can see it. We're almost there!" A young girl poked her head out of an open car window, letting her long, ebony hair flow out into the wind. Cocking her head and holding her hair away from her eyes, she eyed a huge Victorian style house as they approached it.

"Hey now Mana, if you poke your head out too long your hair might get stuck or tangled in something…" The man driving the car warned her with a half teasing voice. Mana huffed and sat back into her place. "Everyone will be happy to see you again, especially with those awards in your hands." The man continued. Mana just smiled benevolently in response as she glanced out the window, watching their car pass through the colossal bronze gates.

"_I can finally see you again… after such a long time…" _

The jet-black car came to a complete stop. Mana struggled to open the door carefully, so as not to drop her glass awards; luckily the driver opened the door for her. "Thanks, Miller." she once again smiled up at him. Mana could hear shouting voices coming closer and closer towards her. She turned around slowly and saw the familiar faces of her friends from the orphanage.

"Linda!" Mana exclaimed, giving all the keepsakes in her hand to poor Miller. Linda tackled her and she accepted it with open arms. Seeing everyone's cheerful smiles and joyful laughs made her feel such levels of nostalgia that it was almost nauseating. Being back again was so wonderful. Mana had almost forgotten how warming it was to be around such caring people. One red haired girl managed to pull out a somewhat official looking paper from Miller's hand.

The redhead read the paper as a big grin crossed her face. "I thought so! First place winner again! I knew you could do it!"

Mana just laughed along. "Just because I won that one doesn't mean all my awards are first place. I didn't win anything at some contests. I practiced hard for that though. Practice makes perfect."

"When you're ready come out and get some fresh air, okay? We'll see you then!" The group went back to the field to continue playing whatever game they were playing before. Linda stayed behind and watched the younger kids play. She turned to Mana with her remarkable grin. Miller rolled his eyes childishly and went inside carrying Mana's things, telling her, "I'm gonna put this inside for you." Mana thanked him again before turning back to Linda.

"I wonder if you missed us…" Linda asked sounding almost sarcastic.

"Of course I did. I was out for like… half a year!" She sputtered in return.

"Hmm… then I wonder if… you missed him," said Linda, a taunting smirk plastered across her face.

"I-- I… of course I did." Mana looked away as she covered her face with her hand, trying to hide her flushed face from Linda. But as always, she could never succeed in doing so. Linda always seemed to catch Mana off guard, and when she did, she'd end up laughing at her in the end.

"Ahh… Mana, you act all funny when it comes to him." Linda hooted at Mana causing her to roll her eyes.

"So, where's Matt?" She asked and Linda's chuckles trailed off. "And Near?" She quickly added.

"Oh… I don't know where Matt is but Near was called in by Roger just a while ago." Mana frowned a little. She knew, everyone knew, that wherever Matt was, Mello would almost always be there as well. She thought of how she would find them in the large manor. "I know, I know. You're looking for Mello right? He's with Near in Roger's office." Linda waved at her as she ran to the field joining the other kids. Mana waved back, her face all lit up.

"I'm gonna go to Roger's office first and tell him that I've come back." Mana paused and took a deep breath before speaking once more, "And then… I'll see him again, right?" She walked silently along the stairs, heading toward Roger's office. She looked around and noticed that nothing had really changed. Walking at the edge of the stairs, she looked to her side to see a huge mirror with exquisite silver carving designs on its frame. When she was younger, she used to be afraid that somehow this mirror would pull her right inside of it.

A chuckle escaped her lips and she heard its echo hit the walls. It had always been so silent in the manor without anyone around. She looked at herself. She was wearing simple clothes and her hair was partially messy. Mana was clad in a black jacket that was obviously too big for her as the sleeves were hanging at her hands. Under her jacket she was wearing a white tank top with a few curly designs on it. Lastly, she wore a black skirt with cherry blossoms designs on it; it was three inches above her knee. She let out a sigh followed by another chuckle.

Mana never really liked wearing short skirts. She was a rather conservative girl. But Roger and Watari insisted her to wear them. They said it was the right outfit for girls because it made them seem more like… girls. Recalling that memory made her feel at home. At first she just wanted to be free from the orphanage, but then she eventually realized it was better to actually have a permanent place to stay than it was to just wander around.

"Mana?" A familiar voice penetrated Mana's musings. She looked up and saw a brunette young man at the top of the stairs. "Oh, hey Matt!" Mana waved and grinned at him. Matt walked down the stairs towards her.

"So you're back huh…" He said in a monotone voice, which unintentionally upset Mana.

She frowned a bit. "What's with that tone? Aren't you happy to see me? That's a really _nice_ way to greet someone…" She said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes, her disappointment so apparent that Matt felt a little bad.

"_Too sensitive sometimes_," he thought giving her a small smile to cheer her up, hoping that it might work somehow. And it did. Mana then flashed that goofy grin on her face.

"Sooo… where's Mello?" Though faltered, she asked Matt, avoiding eye contact.

"Upstairs, in Roger's office. Come with me, I'll be going there anyway." He turned his back ready to go up.

"Why did you even bother coming down?" Mana asked jokingly.

"Because I heard that you had come back."

"Oh…" As they walked, Mana thought about how she had always been in a fairly small but great circle of friends; well, they were great to her at least. Some people (or kids) might not have considered it as great since they all had magnificent talents and abilities, but Mana and the rest would think it was just normal. She always had a good sense of judgment and was thankful for her skill at discernment. She made friends right away with Matt and Mello, and had even considered trying to befriend the poker faced Near, who at times was a _bit _sociable.

Finally both of them stood in front of Roger's office. Mana was about to knock but could tell something weird was going on inside. Instead she pressed her ear against the door and tried to hear the conversation going on.

"What the hell are you doing?" Matt as asked as he quirked an eyebrow.

"Eavesdropping… duh." Mana tried to press harder. The voices inside were very soft and subtle.

"Don't 'duh' me." Matt replied.

"Be quiet, I'm trying to–" a tiny gasp escaped her as her iridescent eyes met the black onyx ones which belonged to a recognizable blonde.

"I'm 15! I'm fine on my own!" The blonde shouted angrily without looking back.

"Mello…?" she whispered, their eyes locked with each other. She tried to analyze his eyes. "_His eyes… why are they like that?" _She thought to herself. Mello then turned to Matt.

"Come with me." was his simple demand. He walked passed Mana as if she wasn't there. Matt and Mana looked at each other for a mere second before Matt followed behind Mello anyway. Looking perplexed, Mana turned to the open door where Roger and Near were clearly in sight.

"Roger…? What's going on?" Roger sighed and bowed his head.

"I'm not supposed to but… I don't want you to talk about this with the other children. If ever they'll come to know about it, I'll be the one who'll tell them." Roger's hands were on top of each other in front of his face, his elbow propped on the table.

"What?" Mana shook her head, she was completely baffled, though she knew it was something bad, really bad.

"L and Watari… are dead." Mana glanced at Near for a moment. She didn't show, or rather, didn't want to show any emotion, although it was quite obvious in her eyes that she was astonished to hear the news. She had always thought she rivaled Near when it came to learning to seal off emotions, or at least learning how to hide her flooding emotions when they leaked out. She wasn't as cold and emotionless as Near, but she at least knew that too much emotion could get in the way.

"That can't be… I mean, he just lost. That's it?" Mana looked down on the floor trying to conceal the evident sadness in her eyes. "_So that's why… Mello…"_

"It was Kira, my dear. Kira killed the both of them; Kira is now obviously stronger than them." Roger said in a hushed tone. Near eyed her for a moment; her reaction seemed to have echoed the words he had spoken earlier, that L just lost the "game". Not thinking of anything appropriate to say, he returned to his blank puzzle. There was silence in the room, and without a word, Mana rushed out of the office. Instead of running and locking herself in her room, she ran up to Mello's room. Near and Roger didn't have to ask themselves why, she had been very fond of Mello for as long as they could remember.

"Mello?" She knocked, then called again "Mello, you in there?" The door swung wide open in front of her, and once again she met those dark furious eyes.

"What do you want?" Mello spat at her.

"M-Mello… I…" Mana cocked her head and saw Mello's luggage bag wide open on his bed, his things already inside.

"What're you doing?" She asked sharply; she had a bad feeling about this. She was worried, confused, sad… everything was in a mixer.

"I'm leaving. Today."

"What?" Mana exclaimed in disbelief.

"You heard me, I'm leaving today. After I pack all the things I need, I'll be outta here." Mello turned to his luggage and started stuffing more of his stuff inside. There were a few more things left and all he had to do was toss them inside. He got up, zipped the bag shut, lifted it off the bed, and then stared at Mana wearily like as if he was trying to tell her something through telepathy. But alas, she just couldn't understand his feelings at the moment; she couldn't even understand hers. It was so complex, so complicated. Realizing that they were staring at each other, her face flushed slightly and she averted her gaze at the wall.

"Why are you leaving? I mean, do you have to? Can't you just stay here and cool off?" She sounded almost desperate.

"I can't. Not with that bastard around. I will find Kira, I'll get my revenge and I'll be number one." His eyes turned towards the door, outside the door most likely. He was ready to leave. He was just a few steps away from Mana, who was blocking the doorway. Mana's head shot up all of a sudden.

"Mello, I-- I want to tell you something. I don't know if it's important but I've wanted to tell you this for a long time now." She burst out. Mello just raised an eyebrow in return. For a long time, Mana had always wanted to tell Mello how much she liked him. Growing up in the orphanage with him and her other so-called friends Mana had developed a certain fondness for Mello. Sure, Mello was a bit too rash at times, but if he was really so harmful why would Matt even be friends with him in the first place? Everyone got used to his attitude eventually, they just didn't want him to erupt every day. They all knew he was hot-tempered but he _was _a good kid.

Mana recalled the moments when she tried to tell him, even though Matt was always there. She had always failed. She'd stutter and blush to her toes, trip or feel the need to throw up. She wanted to let it pass since everyone knew that they were just teenagers with raging hormones. Mana tried to tell him a few times, even allowing herself to face embarrassment and the sacrifice of her this-is-so-not-like-me attitude for it, but always ended up doing something stupid instead.

--

**Atempt # 1**

"M-Mello I really… I really… uh…" Mana's face was beet red. Mello looked bewildered. Matt was somehow amused. She looked around the ground as if she was searching for the right words to use.

"You really… what?" Mello asked, his tone bordering on curiosity.

"I… I really… like… I REALLY LIKE BALONEYS!! Y'KNOW?!" Mana's faced turned redder, mentally slapping herself. "_STUPID!"_

"Oh… is that good?" Mello and Matt were almost amused by the girl's weird behavior.

"Uh… yeah? I mean, they're really good. Haha, yum!" Mana double-slapped herself mentally before turning around and running off before shrinking out of humiliation. "_MORON!!"_

--

**Atempt # 2**

"Yes! He's all alone, this is my chance!" Mana exclaimed happily to herself as she saw Mello down the stairs. "Matt's not there, I don't think anyone is."

"Mello!" She called out. She got the blonde's attention. Good.

"Wait, I have to do something." He was about to walk away from her when Mana called out again.

"Mello wait! I–– Ahh!"

CRAASSHHHH!!

She had wanted to at least walk with him. Without thinking, she had ran down the stairs, tripping over her own foot and falling down hard on the floor, spraining her ankle badly, really badly.

"Ow ow ow ow ouch!" Mana shut her eyes and touched her sprained ankle. Mello came over to her and helped her shift her body.

"You okay?" he asked rhetorically and she replied with a nod.

"_It would've been better if he caught me though."_ She thought as she grinned to herself. Then, as if on cue, Matt came in to the picture.

"There you are, Matt. Take Mana to the clinic, she sprained her ankle. I'm too busy right now." He stood up and walked away from them. Great, just great, spraining her ankle and Mello approaching her seemed like the _perfect _set-up but then Matt had to come along and butt into the scene.

"C'mon, I'll help you up." Mana glared at him irately.

"What?"

--

**Atempt # 3**

"This is it! I'm telling him! There's no way I'll screw this up!" Mana told herself, her fist clenched in a ball. She looked very determined.

Mana peered outside of her window and saw Mello and the others playing soccer. She ran downstairs and went outside onto the field. The game had just ended right as she reached them and she could see that everyone was dripping wet with sweat. She walked up to Mello and grabbed his wrist, pulling him to a place where they were alone. The blonde looked at her bemusedly.

"What?" He asked.

"I… you know…" Mana looked away and twiddled her fingers. She took a deep breath and decided to say what she wanted to say in one breath.

"IREALLYLIKEYOUFORALONGTIMENOWANDI'VEJUSTGATHEREDUPMYCOURAGETOTELLYOURIGHTNOW!SOEXCUSEMYWEIRDBEHAVIORLATELYIJUSTCAN'TSTANDMOMENTSLIKETHIS!!"

JIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGUUUUUUU!! (a/n: Okay so I have no idea how an airplane, or rather a jet sounds. So without any other choice, I made that jiiiinn sound xD)

A huge airplane just passed by far above their heads. There was an airport near the orphanage and so, whenever a plane took off, all the sounds in the surroundings were overpowered by the ear-splitting noise of the airplanes.

"Huh?!" Mello was rather amazed at how the girl had said that sentence in just one breath… wait, was that even a sentence? Oh well, it was clear that he didn't hear or understand any of what she said. Mana felt a mountain knock her out her from above. Her long awaited moment, all the time she had spent patiently gathering her courage, all her efforts, they were all put to waste because of one airplane passing over their heads. She sighed deeply as if the whole world was facing the Great Depression once again.

"Can you repeat that?" Mello asked.

"I said… I said that Roger asked me to tell you that we're having an early dinner tonight so don't go anywhere far." She lied. She couldn't possibly say it again. Mana felt like digging a hole already.

"Oh."

--

Mana sighed. She wouldn't want to let things happen that way again. There was silence between them, Mana felt pressured and wanted to slice it off. But then, Mello did that for her.

"Don't waste my time, Mana." Mello tried to control his temper so that he wouldn't pour it all out on her. He pushed Mana out of his way and walked past her.

"Hey, wait!" She sounded desperate which pissed off Mello for no reason. He turned to look at her.

"Look, I want to tell you something, so I'm going to take my time and make sure I say all that I have to say ,and say it the way I want it to come out so that you can fully understand everything-- So… so please wait…"

"Okay, what is this? Some kind of shitty prank? I have no time for this! This is not a game, this is serious. And you don't have any idea about that. Why are you stalling me anyway? It's not like you… I'm leaving for a cause." Mello felt seriously exasperated this time. He didn't want to argue with Mana, not this time. There were a lot of things going on in his head and he just couldn't focus. He counted the numbers from one to ten backwards mentally to cool off.

"No, Mello. This is not a joke. I know that L and Watari… died." Mana's voice trailed off. As she spoke about it, she still couldn't believe that they were gone. And she had just admitted it herself by letting those words come out of her own mouth. There was a moment of silence again.

"And yes, I _am _stalling you. Why are you itching to get out of here? It's like you think the world is attached to a time bomb or something." She continued, with a little hint of annoyance in her tone. Mello looked at her eyes. She wa_s _serious.

"Tsk… I'm not wasting my time here." He whispered. He didn't care. He didn't want to. He turned his back to the girl once more and walked away from her.

THUMP!

"W-what…" Mello felt her body pressed so close to his. Her arms slid through his and hugged him from behind. Her arms were wrapped around his body and her head was rested on his back. "_So warm…" _Mana ignored Mello's shock as she attempted to memorize, and never forget the warmth of his body and the way he smelled, unusual but pleasant, like sweat mixed with a sweet perfume. "Mana what're you–" He was cut off by Mana's simple ghost of a whisper that wisped over his skin as he felt her breath.

"Mello, don't go. No, at least, please wait… What if I… what if I tell you that I love you?" She asked. Mello felt his cheeks turn slightly red, it was so unlike him. He felt Mana's heartbeat, and he could feel his. It was beating so fast and hard as if it was going to jump out of his skin. He didn't know what to do. First, L's death and now this?

"I love you… I really do…" She felt tears forming at the corner of her eyes but she held them back. Mana had forgotten the last time she cried for someone or even for herself. Mello didn't respond so suddenly, but with a soft sigh, he gently touched her hands and took them off from his shirt. He turned (again) and looked at the weary face of the girl. Her head was bowed and her hair was obscuring her face.

"Look at me…" Mello tipped her chin up to meet her glaucous eyes. Mana felt his stare was penetrating her; it made her heart stop for a moment. He leaned in closer and brushed his lips to hers. Mana's eyes widened in shock. The tears that were built up with many experiences and memories of pain, sadness, hardships and this, the tears, she had strongly held back for such a long time, flowed freely out of her eyes. She didn't know why, but she knew her tears were pouring out uncontrollably. She felt so vulnerable,.Mello, himself, didn't know what was happening. His body acted on its own accord. "_Her lips are so cold… and they're trembling…_ " Their lips parted and Mello wiped her tears away.

"Listen, I'm… I'm so-- I'm sorry." There are many things that were hard for Mello to say and one of them was "sorry". "Maybe I haven't noticed it until now… So, sorry." Mana then felt a strong arm tug her from behind and a hand holding a cloth covered the lower half of her face. Everything went black. But before everything disappeared from Mana's vision, she took one last look at Mello. She knew there was no one, nothing, that could stop him from leaving.

"You shouldn't have asked me to do this." Matt said with a tinge of guilt in his voice, staring at Mana's helpless body in his arms. Matt had been behind the cabinet at the time she came in and had stayed there until Mello signaled for him to do what he had just did a few seconds ago.

"I know. You don't have to tell me."

"She really loves you…"

"It's for the best…"

"You're never coming back, are you?"

"Take care of her Matt. I'm leaving for real."

"I knew you'd say that one day…" Matt smiled sadly. Mello turned to walk away once more, stealing a glance at Mana. Matt stared as Mello's figure completely disappeared. He placed Mana on Mello's bed and stared at her with a hint of sadness. "It's just the two of us now… without Mello, it won't be the same." He left the room and closed the door.

After a couple of hours, Mana woke up. She stared at the blank ceiling as she remembered what had happened. Tears started to stream down her face again. She covered her eyes and turned to her side as she let herself cry in silence.

"He didn't even say goodbye…" She murmured. The kiss must've been his goodbye, but she wanted to hear the word come out of his mouth. She knew she would never see him again unless fate somehow brought them together by chance. "I would've wished, no, I would've painted a mural of you myself if I knew I'd never see you again! I would've just stared at it all day, and then... maybe I might not be as lonely." She shouted a bit to no one in particular. "_He didn't even let me know if… he loves me… if he wanted to love me back…"_

Outside the room, in front of the door, Matt stood and listened to Mana. "Same here Mana, same here…" he mumbled. Mana was so lonely and upset that she didn't come out of Mello's room the whole week. From time to time she would peer out the window and place her hands on it wishing that Mello would be there playing soccer. But no… She wanted to rewind time to when she was hugging Mello, she wanted to stay like that with him but it was impossible. She knew she would never again feel his warmth wisped over her whole body and that sensation of nearness she had seen when they kissed.

--

**Okay, so I don't really know how this turned out, a bit sad. I think XD Reviews are love so if you happen to read this story please leave a few words? Criticisms, corrections, comments and whatnot are all appreciated.**

**Hmm, I might have a sequel for this but this one's already… XP If I get enough good reviews, I just might. So keep those reviews coming 'cause they encourage me a lot ;D**

PS This fic is the second MelloxOC in FFN, kewl xD

Edited: April 24, 2008  
For a moment I thought Mana was tainted with a drop of a Mary-sue and I proved it when one of the reviewers said that she does. I kinda got annoyed at the fact that my OC was mary-sue-ish in a way. So I edited it xD I changed a few dialogues, her actions and the way she was portrayed. Hopefully, I did good enough to make her seem… un-mary-sue-ish xD

April 26, 2008: Thanks a lot to CrazyNinjaPenguin for betaing my story 8D


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